(Disclaimer: the following post is satire. We really do think you should pass your emissions tests.)
In the grand scheme of things, does passing your vehicle’s emissions test doesn’t really matter? As a fleet manager, truck driver, or anyone else who drives a diesel engine, you’ve got better things to worry about than whether or not the emissions from your truck aren’t complying with regulations.
At FleetServ, we asked ourselves, “what would it take to never pass an emissions test?” Well, we’ve got your answer in 6 easy steps:
- Never Clean Your DPF
Your diesel particulate filter (or DPF) traps soot from exhaust and ash from motor oil. Even though a lot of the soot is eventually burned off during the course of a truck’s regular operations, ash will stay in the filter’s honeycomb substrate.
If you want to fail your emissions test, ignore the rule-of-thumb that the ash from your filter needs to be blown or washed out every 50,000 miles. In fact, never even bother heeding your truck’s warning light telling you the filter needs to be cleaned. You also shouldn’t worry yourself learning about the specific cleaning needs of your particular truck’s filter. It’s best to just ignore that stuff and let someone else keep track of it.
- Don’t Emission Retrofit
The term retrofit refers to the various technologies and activities intended to reduce emissions from older engines, vehicles, and equipment. Some of the emissions control devices that fit under this umbrella include diesel oxidation catalysts and particulate filters. The practices of re-powering, rebuilding, and replacing equipment also are included.
To fail your emissions test, though, you should just assume that none of these practices or new technologies apply to you. Just ignore them and keep doing what you’re doing!
- Don’t Consider Biodiesel
Biodiesel is an option for reducing diesel emissions, but that’s not something you care about, right? In case you need to let someone else know, though, biodiesel, and particularly that which is made from used vegetable oil, is an alternative to traditional diesel fuel.
Vegetable oil produces nearly 90 percent fewer emissions than petrodiesel, and its production yields little to no useless or wasted material. This information is great for people who care about passing emissions tests; for you, it’s just an interesting tidbit.
- Don’t Worry About Any Of The Common Causes Of Emissions Issues
There are some common vehicle problems that lead to emissions issues. If you want to fail your test, ignore all of them, including the following:
- Worn-out spark plugs: Worn-out spark plugs can cause hydrocarbons to spike during the emissions test. To ensure failure, don’t perform or have anyone else perform a basic replacement.
- Vacuum leaks: If the MAP sensor is dysfunctional or your hoses are faulty, vacuum leaks can happen. Don’t worry about getting these things checked, though; their leakage ensures your test failure.
- Air-Injection and EVAP malfunction: A malfunctioning air-injection system won’t be able to properly control hydrocarbon and carbon monoxide emissions, while an EVAP system malfunction can vent fuel vapors into the engine, causing high hydrocarbons. Go ahead and let these things go. Fixing them will only cause you to pass your test.
- Don’t Inflate Your Tires
Making sure your tires’ pressure is even and correct will only allow your truck to be driven with greater stability and control, which will only help you to pass your emissions test. Nobody wants that. Instead, just go ahead and leave your tires as is; bonus points if the pressure is extra low. Accurate tire pressure can be the deciding factor between a pass or fail, and you definitely don’t want to risk a passing grade.
- Don’t Perform (Or Let Anyone Else Perform) Regular Maintenance on Your Truck
Routine maintenance is merely a suggestion, not a requirement. Changing the oil, replacing filters, using fuel additives, and adjusting your carburetor for the proper air-fuel mixture are all way too time consuming and won’t contribute to your end goal of failing your emissions test.
If you are truly dedicated to failure, you will be sure to let your regularly suggested truck maintenance go. You’ll be happy you did once you finally get that failing score!
If you have your heart set on failing your emissions test, keep the six tips listed above in mind. If you actually don’t want to fail your test, though, for any reason, visit FleetServ. They will help you get the retrofits you need and take care of any other issues that might be concerning you. Contact FleetServ today to learn more.